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Rabu, 21 Juli 2010

Smoking

I was just thinking about how anti-smoking campaigns are always going via the "soft" approach. You know, how it's like an addiction and there are hotlines, support groups and nicotine patches to help smokers quit.

Like they are going through some kind of unfortunate crisis.

Sure, there are also damn ugly photos on cigarette packets and maybe they work, but after a while, they lose their impact too! Honestly when I look at the photo of the reddish baby that looks like the baby octopus cold dish they serve at restaurants, all I think is, "URGH! That's hideous. I bet it's photoshopped for dramatic effect."

And when smokers see a photo of an abused, tarred lung, you think they pause and imagine that lung inside them and decide to quit?

No way. All these are effects that are not instant, so what happens is that they decide they will eventually quit, but not today. What's another week of smoking gonna do to a lung that's already soot black?

When you want people to quit smoking, you need to give them bloody good reasons, and because a lot of these reasons are not POLITICALLY CORRECT, nobody ever says them.

Well now I'm going to.

The most obvious of all is that nobody likes smokers except other smokers.

Yeah, I said it. Smoking makes people dislike you. For every smoker in Singapore there are 9 non-smokers. And ALL these 9 non-smokers will prefer it if their smoker friend did not smoke anymore.

Obviously I don't mean that every non-smoker hates smokers. I have smoker friends. I'm just saying that I'd like then even better if they don't smoke. For example, if I have to only pick one friend to go on a free holiday with me, and I like both smoker and non-smoker friend equally, I'd pick the non-smoker friend. Why? Coz even if my smoker friend is really considerate, I still have to wait for him to finish smoking, thus eating up my holiday time. He'd ask if we can eat outdoors when I like indoors aircon and I don't like to have to reject people. I'd be alone while he smokes, etc.

Of course the opposite is true that smokers also prefer to have smoking friends but non-smokers WAY outnumber smokers.

So...

Here are eleven demotivational posters I created!!

I give all anti-smoking campaign folks permission to use them coz they are way better than your posters, though, please credit me, thanks.
























I guess the tone of the last poster is a little different from the rest because I read up on how smoking while being pregnant can cause so much harm to an innocent baby and I got so fucking upset and angry with these horribly selfish people I actually cried wtf.

Yeah so stop smoking, NOW!

Or don't ever start, even better.

POSTNOTE: Why are adamant smokers telling me they don't care what non-smokers think of them? YOUR OPINIONS ARE IRRELEVANT to this blog entry. Who cares if you care that people dislike you? I'm just telling you we do, full stop.

POSTNOTE 2:
Retards are telling me my statistics are wrong. They are accurate, and from various sources. If you wish to verify them, go google. And keep in mind when I say that 88% of Singaporeans don't smoke, this also includes children, babies, and thousand year old grannies.

Rabu, 14 Juli 2010

Transform your hair Part II

Advertorial


One day, Essential Rich Premier Nourishing Care Lotion and Nuance Airy Anti-frizz Serum were having a... chat.

















END


Hope you enjoyed the little cartoon!!

If you've read my previous adverts for Essential, you'd have known by now that the Rich Premier Shampoo and conditioner is for people with courser hair who want their hair to be sleek and manageable, whereas the Nuance Airy shampoo and conditioner is more for people with fine hair and want more volume and bounce!

And the orange ones smell like sunflowers while the pink smells like wild roses!! NICE!!

With the launch of the Hair Essence lotion and serum, as long as you wish to repair your damaged hair, you can use BOTH! Nuance Airy serum to iron out frizz and Rich Premier Lotion for better managability! And let's face it, all of us want nicer hair!

The lightweight formula is easily absorbed into hair and 1 application will leave you with...



MAD CHIO AND SHINY, HEALTHY HAIR ALL DAY LONG!






Super cute TVC!



The whole range of Essential hair products are easily available so go check them out now!!

HTTP://SASSYKAWAII.COM.SG

Sabtu, 10 Juli 2010

Xiaxue: 2003 - present

Decided to do a compilation of my photos from 2003 when I started the blog till now!! A lot of different hair colours LOL

And keep in mind all the photos are still photoshopped lah although I think my skills have improved drastically over the years.



August 2003!



December 2003.

God the hair colour is so hideous. I still have that cap.



February 2004.


This was taken at Clara's (poly mate) condo!!



October 2004.


How come my hair suddenly so long? Taken in NUS when I went to visit Wongsie!
I was her witness during her mock trial wtf.

I was going for the "rich" look during that era LOL needless to say FAIL.
(although that's a real rolex I'm wearing)



January 2005
- some of you might be familiar with this photo!

I love those of you. xoxo



August 2005.

Got sponsored by Kimage and dyed my hair ash brown!



January 2006.

Taken with Junne at the now defunct MoS!
Up till today I still find this photo very chio wtf.

I was going for the BOMBSHELL look during this period.

(I still have the tube, belt, and jeans wtf)



2006 September
- still trying to ooze the bombshell look LOL




February 2007.

Dyed hair black FML mad ugly.
Black hair does NOT go well with all my pale pink clothes wtf



March 2007

FML x 2 black faded to this unappealing brown.



July 2007... Pink extensions!



January 2008

Taken in USA



August 2008



Dec 2008

Shit my yellow hair is SO ugly.



March 2009

Still having yellow hair wtf



September 2009

Realised toner (to kill the yellow in hair) is essential for bleached blondes.



December 2009

Bought ring light + DSLR. Also cut bangs.



2010 February


Taken in London!



Finally...

2010 July

Photo from just a few posts down.


GOOD IMPROVEMENT OVERALL I THINK!!! HEHEHE

Selasa, 06 Juli 2010

WATCH NEW VIDEOS!!

OMG! I have not posted up a blog updating new clicknetwork videos for so long!!

Anyway there are too many new ones including a new show called Room 101, so I'm just gonna post up direct links to Guide to Life:



XIAXUE'S GUIDE TO LIFE



I visit the exotic faraway country of Georgia to give a conference and explore castles!



Guide to Georgia part 2!



Guide to Matchmaking! Watch me ruin some innocent nice guy's love life!



I've always been behind the camera so what happens when I go in front?


Also remember to go to CLICKNETWORK.TV to watch all your favourite shows like Numbnuts and Chick Vs Dick!! All got new episodes!! And of course, check out the new series too! :D

Senin, 05 Juli 2010

How to NOT Cheat

Very annoyed. Mike and I are watching a series called Flashforward, which is a great show (so far) about a global "blackout" which causes people to lose consciousness for 2 mins 17 seconds and during that time they see their own futures about 6 months ahead.

Anyway I need to give a little spoiler to continue my blog post but in any case I don't think it will spoil the show for you if u plan to watch it but haven't.


(Start spoiler)

So.

The female lead is called Olivia and she is married with a kid to male lead Mark.

They are in a perfectly happy marriage but as she blacks out, she sees that in the future 6 months ahead she is sleeping naked on their bed, in their house, with this unknown man whom she knew she had these intense passionate feelings for.

As she cries and divulges this information to Mark, she said time and again she doesn't know who this man is, and would NEVER cheat on Mark and would do anything to "save" their marriage.

Finally this man (Lloyd) turns up in Olivia's life (he is father of a patient in the hospital she works at) and she tries to avoid him.

But as months past by and their paths keep crossing, she, WHILE STILL WITH MARK, deliberately goes look for him (twice so far) and they kissed, held hands etc.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HER PROBLEM?!

If she supposedly feels like she SHOULD be with Lloyd instead of Mark why can't she find the fucking courage to break up with Mark first??

AND WHAT ABOUT THEIR KID!!

Somemore Olivia is a perfectly nice and likeable person in the show, not slutty or anything.

You'd think that KNOWING you will commit a mistake will prevent you from committing that mistake in the first place.

(End spoiler)


But is cheating THAT hard to prevent?

I fucking HATE it that cheating is so glamourized is TV shows and movies nowadays. Seriously, ALMOST EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SHOW INVOLVES CHEATING!

Everybody is doing it, so why shouldn't you?

It's portrayed as this thing that cannot be helped; is inevitable in all relationships. BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE!

Carrie Bradshaw is the character in SATC that most women relate the most to. She believes in The One, passion, romance, and whimsically unrealistic expectations of men. She is also unbelievably self centered when it comes to relationships.

I despise this sort of girls but thankfully, I don't have to date them.

And she cheated. TWICE.

Once on Aidan with Big, repeatedly and with no intentions to stop till she got caught by Big's WIFE. Embarrassing.

Another time while married to Big... with Aidan. I consider kissing cheating too btw. Anything that will hurt your partner is considered***. Just coz she saw him in Abu Dhabi and thinks it *roll eyes* MUST be destiny.

[*** Quoting Mike: "Here's the litmus test - if it will upset the other party when they find out, I think it's considered cheating. So if you have to hide it, you shouldn't do it."]

Oh the irony!

Is this how women behave around decent men** who love them and expect to be forgiven? That love conquers all, so we can all just do according to what our loins tell us and beg later?

(**I am not talking about the horrible men who cheat I'm talking about awesome men like Aidan who loved Carrie despite all her very obvious flaws)

TRUE FUCKING LOVE.

In the reel world, everything is about a love so romantic and passionate and lustful, nothing else matters, including the promise of a lifetime of commitment or the feelings of some other insignificant poor sod who loves you.

IT IS RIDICULOUS.

Fine.

I understand that maybe, sometimes, people see someone so right for themselves they can't help it.

So it all boils down to COURAGE.

I am a firm subscriber when it comes to having courage in life. And that's what cheaters need, courage.

The courage to tell your partner you don't think they are the one for you and you are settling. That they are not giving you enough blowjobs. Or that you need to fuck a prostitute in Slovakia because you like the chase - accept it or not.

Of course, cheaters often don't see their problem with themselves or with their relationships till after they cheat, and therefore they cannot confront the problem with courage.

The first time someone cheats also involves recklessness and the inability to control one's horniness (you may label it "attraction" or "love" or whatever euphemism you want but it's horniness).

So here's a guide to how you can PREVENT the cheating, and go home, think about why you almost cheated and whether you are still suitable to be in a relationship.


1) FUCKING WALK AWAY


You feel attraction towards a person at a club? He/she is chatting you up and is super funny and cute?

The moment you feel that way, just walk away! It's not fucking hard. Make an excuse. Don't flirt back. You don't even have to be hostile, you just need to send the vibe that you are not interested.

Yeah how do you know this person is not The One for you? Maybe you are missing out on true love by walking away!

If you are idiotic enough to believe in that, then by your own stupid logic you will meet this person again soon enough (when you are single) BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE MEANT TO BE. There, your excuses foiled.

All Carrie had to do was to walk away from the dinner with Aidan when she felt something for him. Idiot woman.

How many times have I heard of flirty sms chats girlfriends found on their boyfriends' phones?

And they are like "Oh that's nothing what we are just friends"

I don't get it. You don't KNOW that a girl/guy is flirting with you? Are you fucking retarded on top of being a stinking liar? An sms that starts with "How's your day?" is nowhere NEAR innocuous and NOT appropriate when it's asked by someone who is not close to you.

It is an INVITATION to start getting to know you better, and if you reply with intention to feel good about yourself from the positive attention from this person, YOU ARE CHEATING.

Have some balls. Don't reply, or reply with the correct vibe, ie, "Not bad, spending the day cuddling with my girlfriend. Life is good. I'm glad I'm not the cheating sort. So wait your turn bitch."

Yeah see? That wasn't hard.


2) CHEATING TAKES MORE EFFORT THAN NOT CHEATING

I can never understand. Which is easier?

A. Chatting up someone. Saving his number to an unsuspicious name. Sneaking out of the house to contact the person. Lie to your partner when they ask where you've been. Book a hotel room. Park/take public transport there. Engage in sexual relationships. More sneaking. Pacify your cheating partner that you are going to break up with your current partner. Spend money pacifying him. Your partner finds out. You are in utter humiliation; lose whatever you had with said person. Your partner leaves with LCD tv you two bought together. Your family and friends all know about this. Your partners' friends spread around that you are a cheating scumbag and give you death threats. Your parents keep lamenting how awesome your ex was and how you are an idiot. You try to win your ex back, spending more money than ever. You may or may not succeed. If you do, there is forever a strain on the relationship.

OR

B. Walking away the instance you sense someone is interested in you.


YOU tell me.



3) USE SOME IMAGINATION


Here. Next time you want to cheat, just imagine your partner crying and jumping off a building in grief.

She/he is saying, "Why did you do this I love you so much... I hate you. I hate you!" and he runs off and there is a brief moment where you freeze, knowing what he's going to do and you can't stop him because he is too far ahead and he looks back at you, with a look of grim satisfaction that you can't hurt him anymore... and he jumps.

His family is behind you and you fall to your knees in devastation and numbness thinking this can't have happened and the next moment his mother is pounding her fists on you for the family tragedy and you do nothing to stop her because anything is better than this regret... His father is looking over the edge, willing time to turn back but it won't. Actions cause irreversible consequences sometimes... And you caused a death, for a moment of lewdness.

Ahem. Graphic enough? If not you can also try to picture the dead body below, brains everywhere, limps in weird angles, blood blossoming on the pavement as screams echo around.


If you can still get an erection/your panties wet after that grisly image, there is something very wrong with you. Please see a psychologist.



4) USE CLOTHES TO YOUR ADVANTAGE



So. You got to the point where you are about to have sex with someone other than your partner.

To get to someone's sexual organs, one must peel of various layers of clothing, unless one is having sex with an animal of some sort.

This process normally takes some time and effort. REMEMBER AT ANY POINT YOU CAN JUST WALK AWAY!!

Peeling off a belt. NAH. Not gonna do it. Pee on the spot or whatever to gross out your partner (in case they try to rape you), and walk off!!!!

YOU CAN DO IT!!


5) KNOW YOURSELF

Just like paedophiles are attracted to kids, there are some people out there who are attracted to "the chase".

Sure, they are capable of love and maybe they even love one single person more than any other person they want to fuck, but they will NEVER stop cheating.

They are so addicted to the wooing process and the pleasure in finding that someone finds them attractive, they will do whatever it takes to GET that pleasure, even if it involves lying and manipulation.

Such people, of course, should have the courage to admit to themselves that they are unsuitable to be in a committed relationship and to pretend otherwise to their partners is just despicable.

My advice would be to have the COURAGE to admit that your habits will not change, ever, to the person you love and see if they can accept it. If they can, fantastic!

If not, well, too fucking bad. Why bother to prevent the inevitable? These cheaters should date other cheaters and just be in an open relationship! There! No more cheating!



**********************


Honestly, I can't even remember the last time I flirted with anyone or anyone flirted with me. And yes I may be missing out on the fun but I come home to Mike's warm loving arms and I know what we have is so so so much more than whatever could have been.

And I suppose that's how true love makes one feel. Like you can never bear to hurt the person you love and would never do anything to risk losing him. :)

So if you cheat, perhaps you ain't got what it's supposed to be.

Have the courage to break it off instead of stringing your partner along!

I may be a lot of things, but I'm never a coward. ;)


p/s: I may be repeating myself a little in this post coz I know I blogged about cheating before. But forgive me as my memory is abysmal recently.

Jumat, 02 Juli 2010

Lateral Canthoplasty, blepharoplasty and fillers :D

Those of you following my tweets already know I did something really drastic yesterday. I did plastic surgery!!

And not just namby pamby nonsense - two eye surgeries at once!!

That's Lateral Canthoplasty... Meaning cutting the outer corner of eyes, and Blepharoplasty... Meaning cutting double eyelids (I already have them, just did them higher).

Went to Malaysia to do it coz my friend (let's call her A) also did it and the results are nice!!

Plus the each procedure is only freaking 1.8k RINGGIT. Meaning altogether I spent like 1.6k SGD only!! WTF so cheap. Not sharing where I did it so don't ask. Actually I also don't know where it is coz I just followed A to the clinic.

The doctor is from China and he does like a LOT of surgeries a day lah. Everything there is so casual. They had a consultation with me for like 5 mins (speak Chinese only), during which the doctor was like touching my eyes to picture how it would look like after different procedures.

Then they suggested Epicanthoplasty. Meaning cutting the INNER corner of the eyes but that one has a lot of downtime plus is more invasive coz of the tear ducts.

Although Epi is the surgery that really widens your eyes. Lateral only lengthens fml. However my issue with my eyes is that they are too narrow/short. So lateral it was!

See this girl's Epi PLUS Laternal PLUS double eyelid surgery. Remind you of someone's eyes? HEHE

It all happened so fast. Unlike my nose job with Dr Martin Huang which involved 2 consultations before the surgery and shitloads of aftercare visits (I think like 20), bandages, medicine and loads of prep work etc, this clinic was like MEH... ARE YOU READY NOT LET'S DO IT HURRY UP.

It felt so casual I felt like I was only doing a Brazilian wax lor.

So I went upstairs to surgical room and laid down on the bed.

Face cleaned with antiseptic and covered with some cloth.

Doctor injected LA into my eyelids, 3 shots. Not painful. Then begin sewing double eyelids with no hesitation. (they pull a string thru so it is actually reversible)

BAM! 10 mins and it's done.

Injected LA under my eyes. FUCKING PAINFUL. I have a high tolerance of pain and I actually YELLED. It was soooo bad!!

Proceeded to do the lateral surgery, no idea how it's done but it doesn't seem that hard. Finished an eye in 5 mins. Did the same thing with the other.

He asked me to open my eyes and look at him. I did. He said OK, everything done. LEFT THE ROOM!!

Nurse cleaned my face up (2 mins) and I went down the stairs (no assistance) to my friends who were waiting below for me.

Went to the toilet where I saw the "after" for the first time. Looks very swollen and horrid but I've been warned that that's the case.


AND I WENT SHOPPING AFTER THIS. With shades lah. Eyes were slightly uncomfortable and moving eyeballs side to side is painful!! 2 tea eggs, one Paul Smith shirt (outlet mall) and 1 cup corn later, went back to Singapore.

Instead of sleeping I actually went to finish my Essential ad below!! I must be ding dong.

Anyway Mike didn't want me to do either surgery but I told him I *might* be doing the lateral and he very begrudgingly agreed. He said he loves my eyes as they were *touched*

However when I went to the clinic I thought I might as well do the double eyelids too at the same time lah!! Can just recover from both together... And I thought I could kinda smoke him through the double eyelid surgery by just not mentioning it.

Erm but he saw through it at once and got quite pissed off with me. :(


I AM SORRY BABY!!!!


Enough words here are the photos:



No make up or photoshop on the eyes. They are still very very swollen now with red sores on the eyeballs but that's normal.

I know it looks freaky but this is only day 2!! Will get better one :D

Although I must say I already love the surgery!!! The difference is mad drastic!!



And this is the before. If you say got no difference and that my eyes were already beautiful you must be blind.

Anyway I had to search damn long for a photo of me with no make up knn.


Here's another Before shot. Look at the amount of white that's visible at the eye ends and compare to the After shot!

And FML last time I'm always very conscious about my small short eyes that's why I always wear glasses when I'm out without make up. NOW DON'T NEED ANYMORE!!



Eyelids - the bruises will go away


And my freaky eyeballs. They are not bleeding, just traumatized. The wounds leak a little plasma + blood though.

Also you can see the stitches.

Since we are at the topic of plastic surgery, last month I visited Dr Georgia Lee again for fillers for my laugh lines!!

She is FANTASTIC once again and did fillers for me on lips (my third time), nose (first time) and laugh lines (first time).

I saw Christopher Lee there when I went!! She is like really popular with all the stars can!! Feel so privileged coz she is SO talented and has an awesome sense of aesthetics. :D

This one MUST share: 64620083 - TLC clinic at Holland Village.

No she is not paying me!!

I've always felt the tip of my nose was a little flat so here it is after fillers:


Awesome or what!! It's like a nose job which is non invasive! Also note lips are a lot more perky :D



And this is the After of my lips!! Loves it. Will never live without fillers on lips anymore.


Ok fine so many things done at once sounds like I'm mad addicted to plastic surgery but I'm not lah!!

Fillers are totally temporary and does not involve any cutting.

And I'm probably not going to do any more "real" plastic surgery after this man. I'm fine with everything else on my body. Not that I wasn't fine with my eyes lah but I was just being kinda reckless coz I was so simple and fuss-free getting it done!!

The recovery of my eyes is a BITCH!! Nose job was so much easier.

I'd probably get shitloads of nasty comments for this post but I quote Dumbledore: The truth is generally preferable to lies. I'm not going to pretend I never did my eyes; I can never be comfortable with that.

Anyway it's my face lah you can call me a plastic bitch all you want (it doesn't affect coz it's true), I happy can already.