The hair styling challenge! Who can do whose hair better?
Girls are normally better at multi-tasking but will Paul win Kaykay in this challenge? And what's sort of math solution is he drawing there????
Xiaxue's Guide to Life
Heavily requested Guide to Life episode on NAILS!
For those of you who have never done fake nails in your life, this would be totally educational and potentially life-changing!
You won't be known as The Girl With Hideous Nails anymore!!!!!
And for those of you who have been following me on Twitter... You might already know what the next episode is about...
And the trailer for the next episode of Guide to Life is there in the last few seconds of the clip...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
It's the Guide to Kissing a Girl, and...
I'D BE KISSING KAYKAY!!!!!!!!!!
If you want to see us make out like attention-seeking whores (fine, the idea was conceived by me) and why, you just have to wait for the next episode to come out!!
I think it's coming out next Friday, if I'm not wrong.
We had loads of fun filming it...
I'm excited to see it too!
Someone alert the Gutter dude! He's gonna jizz in his pants! (For his love of Kaykay, not for me.)
I know I haven't been blogging interesting stuff lately but at least I filmed interesting stuff, right?? Right??
Woooh! Two hugeass photos of me!
One of them is photoshopped to death, guess which one?
My poor blog looks so stupid with no updates I've decided to tell you all about my mediocre day yesterday.
First I woke up at 11am and the sun was blazing hot. Then I called my friend and yelled at him, "Omg let's go tanning!!!!"
My friend said ok, but he needs to go to the gym first. I said I'd meet him at his place at 1.30pm then.
Boiled potatoes to make mashed potatoes. Talked to shuyin on msn. Burnt potatoes. Whole house smelt like burnt potatoes. Hahahaha! I'm so descriptive. Ok fine, it smelt rancid.
Cut off the burnt parts. Mashed potatoes with some water (no milk at home), chunks of butter and a dollop of mayo. It's fab. I make fab mashed potatoes.
Mike came home for lunch.
Pumpkin pooped on the shoe rack. Got walloped and time-out-ed in her toilet. (Till later)
Packed potatoes in microwaveable rectangular plastic box and left for friend's place. Took a cab. Had the cleverness to call him before I reached to find out he is still ta pao-ing food at cineleisure.
I stopped the cab there (he stays in orchard, has own swimming pool!!), and he went to buy LJS while I bought the fake jap food from cine's basement.
Meanwhile, went to do do club (just beside food place) with the intentions to buy fake eyelashes, if they got nice ones.
I picked 4.
The price was $19.80!
I jumped and said, "Why so expensive??"
Woman said coz one packet is $4.95.
I said, "Oh you all increased the price, used to be $3.80."
Stupid woman said, "No, it has always been this price."
Retard to the max! I clearly remember it was $3.80 coz I must have bought at least 40 pairs of lashes from there! Always been $4.95 my ass!! Always been that price since she's been working there maybe!!
So I said, "I don't want it anymore."
The semi-evolved human said, "Huh, all of them?"
I answered in the affirmative.
She yelled, "But I already keyed them in!!" And acted like I have to do her a favour and pay up $19.80 just coz she already keyed my lashes in!!! Wtf??
It's not my problem that she keyed it in and I told her as much. Ridiculous.
Walked away. Nobody stopped me, although I'm sure they would be cursing me for the rest of the day.
With food, went to my friend's place, took off clothes (with bikini left of course) and AHHHHhhhhhh! Sun!! We had a decadent time eating at the pool.
Tanned till 5pm. I was a bit burnt.
Wongsie and mike then came over (asked Mike to release Pumpkin from Time-Out) and all 4 of us went to Jumbo seafood to eat.
We had drunken prawns, scallops wrapped in yam, mee goreng, spinach and mushroom tofu, and kang kong! It was not bad.
Then we adjoined to The Daily Scoop for ice cream, which was closed. Went to Udders instead. I had Strawberry Fields and Cempedak icecream!!
And then mike sent everyone home and we went home too.
I started reading My Sister's Keeper. It's promising. Finished to page 15.
Fell asleep till now.
And this is the first blog post written on my berry!!
Remember my Loreal-Garnier Eye Roll-On advertorial? Now Biotherm came up with a product similar to that, but for guys!!
Tadah!
The Biotherm High Recharge Yeux!
Have no idea what Yeux means but it sure sounds all sciencey and like something that your eyes would love!
Eyebags and dark eye rings are unattractive for BOTH men and women, but the difference is that there are loads of products for women to help them with this problem!
I have like 5 different eye creams myself. -_-
But none for men - till now!
This little tube contains Pure Ginseng and Thermal Plankton among other ingredients to soothe tired eyes! It's an instant solution for men when it comes to erasing eye fatigue!
This little cold metal ball gives easy application... it dispenses a cool, clear gel which perks up and feels good against drowsy eyes.
Instant freshness!
Men are usually lazy when it comes to the maintenance of their appearances, but there are ways to "persuade" them to work harder.
How far would men go doing crazy, slightly gross, and very questionable home remedies on their eyes just because they are asked by a gorgeous girl?
Biotherm did a hilarious campaign just to find this out!
Check out these poor dudes:
I would never have believed it, but these guys allowed Jeanne, the "Eye-Fatigue Therapist", to put DURIANS on their eyes!!
I love durians perhaps more than most people, but I won't allow durians on my eyes lor!
And two whole durians (seeds, not the spiky fruit, duh, that would be so painful)?? So sticky... and worse, the smell will be ON YOUR FACE for the whole day!
Hahahaha...
My second favourite video is SALMON!
Would anyone really believe that putting a slab of really fishy-smelling raw salmon on your eyes would curb fatigue??
These guys try it anyway!!
If you are really sadistic and want to watch more guys getting duped, putting things like bittergourds, cheese and grass jelly on their eyes, CLICK HERE!
But at the end of the day, of course, only Biotherm's HIGH RECHARGE YEUX works.
As Takeshi Kaneshiro endorses with his royal handsomeness.
I put some on Mike...
Poor guy has been sleeping very little due to his heavy workload...
Me to Mike, "It's all yours... Stop being lazy and..."
Men should be trained to be more vain!!
Wooooo! Promotion!
To get a COMPLIMENTARY eye massage, skin consultation and free samples from Biotherm's consultants, all you have to do is:
SMS BIOTHERM [space]
YOUR FIRST NAME [space]
YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS to
98212449
Click here to see the list of outlets you may go to go get your freebies!!
It's time to drag your boyfriend down there and get him cuter!
p/s: You know who should really use this? J Lo's husband, Marc Anthony!
His eyebags/dark eye circles really makes him look like a combination of vulture and vampire.
*********************************
I often have nightmares about Mike.
The most common recurring one is about him generally just flying back to the USA and being totally uncontactable.
It's always night during those dreams and would involve me bombarding his phone but constantly typing in the wrong number!
When I finally get his number right, I'd either get
- An engaged tone. (WTF giving me hope)
- A message saying the phone number is no longer in use.
- An unhelpful helpdesk sorta person telling me Mike already left the country and his location is not to be revealed to me, which often results in me begging her.
- Mike himself picking up and telling me to stop bothering him, and I can never find him.
It's fucking horrible!!!!!
I presume I get these nightmares coz I'm still traumatized over the few alcoholic occasions when he went drinking with his colleagues and went uncontactable. HATE IT!
Anyway, yesterday I had the worst nightmare regarding Mike EVER.
It was so long and continuous and contained so much details I twittered 7 tweets about it.
Anyway, my followers on Twitter told me to go blog instead so here I am!
It started out with Mike going out with my family members on some trip.
Suddenly he collapsed to the ground. My uncles and cousins all tried to pick him up.
I was obviously damn worried he died so I kept shrieking at people to send him to the goddamn hospital. Everyone told me to relax, which pissed me off greatly.
For some reason we were in Ang Mo Kio and finally an ambulance from Ang Mo Kio hospital came and picked the still unconscious Mike into a green stretcher.
A female doctor in a surgical gown (green too, with green gloves) was operating on Mike as me and my family members looked on anxiously. Well I knew I was anxious, not sure about my dream family.
While on the operating table, there was an LED screen near to Mike and it was flashing red words. These were details about Mike. The words read "Mike, 28, DIVORCEE".
I know technically it should read "Divorced", but please don't correct my grammar in a dream.
Anyway, so it was revealed that Mike was freaking MARRIED before he met me!!!!!!!
Everyone was very shocked by this revelation and my family all gave me pitying looks.
I was like, "WHO IS THIS MIKE GUY? I don't know him at all!" in my mind but I was actually more concerned about his physical state!
Anyway, the doctor was damn curt and said Mike had a heart attack.
I woke up.
And fell back asleep again, continuing the dream.
Mike recovered and suddenly he was cheating on me with this girl called Vivian, who is a friend's friend that I just added on facebook. I haven't even seen Vivian in seriously like 8 years!!! And 8 years ago I maybe saw her like 3 times!!
WTF lor super ridiculous.
So anyway, this Vivian was at our new place and she and Mike were already together!
It was damn awkward.
For some reason Vivian was like watching me as I chose clothes to wear.
And I chose this white top and black skirt... Then I set the black skirt down as I wore the white top, and couldn't find the black skirt. Then I had to settle for a white with black polka dots skirt.
Anyway, the white top was MESH and the skirt was damn ugly so essentially I dressed really hideously in front of Vivian who scoffed at me!
And Mike gave her a loving look which obviously said, "See, she's so ugly, thank god I chose you!"
I then somehow suggested to Mike that I should "get the house" and he can move out, and he actually replied, "That's what you were hoping for, isn't it?"
Which is completely illogical coz the house is a rental.
And then my friends were there to support and comfort me. I didn't realise it during the dream, but I've fought with these friends in real life and are no longer in contact with them. Goddamn it, as if the dream wasn't bad enough already!
I started to actually physically fight him, and woke up at this point.
Sucks balls man.
Poor Mike (the real one) had to suffer 15 mins of my "Were you ever married?" questions.
Wanted to tweet this on Twitter but said website is down at the moment so here I am, blogging a short post!
All sorts of studies are done everyday. Many are thoroughly useless and stupid.
My friend just told me he has to watch over a few hundred hours of sneakily taken Hornbill videos to conclude how many hornbill moms eat their chicks. Or something like that.
He told me that he saw a mummy hornbill kill 3 of her 4 chicks, but honestly, knowing that sort of information does no one any good, except if you are a hornbill male and you wanna fuck but don't want babies.
But of course hornbill males have no idea how to calculate probability so this information is also useless to them.
Anyway, my point is that studies should be a bit more useful!
A very good one I can think of is:
What percentage of forgiven cheating scumbags cheat again?
And I mean like after you forgive your boyfriend for cheating on you, would he just do it again?
Is it true, once a cheater, always a cheater?
Don't you think that's fucking useful information to know?
Say after polling 100,000 cheating scumbags, statistics prove that 99.99% of them cheat again, whether or not they were found out - will that affect your decision to take back a wayward boyfriend?
Or will you still naively believe that he is the 0.01%?
Other useful studies:
- Percentage of men who abuse women and promise never to do it again but does it again anyway.
- Percentage of men whose penises actually enlarged after using penis-enlargement kits (For you guys to stop having false hopes!)
- Percentage of people who think they are fat who are really fat. If this number is low enough, it would convince me, "Hey, I can't possibly be that 1%, right?
Therefore, I must not be fat." I realise this spirals into a logic blackhole (ie when I don't think I'd fat, I'd be part of the 99% who doesn't think I'm fat but actually is), but fuck off.
- Percentage of bad boys who become family men... eventually.
If this percentage is low enough, women will generally stop fucking bad boys in the hopes they reform, and bad boys will not get sex and then be forced to be good guys. This then ups the statistics so it's a vicious cycle. I'm rambling and I can't stop.
I admit that most of my requested statistics are skewed towards women's advantages, further alienating the already-tiny straight male portion of my blog readers.
Poof. Last 2 straight male readers gone.
It's inevitable they are dwindling. I refuse to place my jugs on the table and take subtle (but obvious, like, OH, ARE THEY SPILLING OUT? I HAD NO IDEA!) photos of them.
Oooooh!!!
REGRET statistics would be useful too:
- Percentage of people who regret going to college, and percentage of people who never went regretting not going.
- Percentage of people who regret having plastic surgery (If I knew this stat I'd be much more placated deciding on whether I should do my nose job.)
-Percentage of people who regret cheating. I really would love to know the answer for this...
Etc... You get the idea!
USEFUL STUDIES RIGHT??? Instead of stupid studies like whether iphone users are smarter and happier!
Regret studies are awesome. Imagine you wanna sign up for facebook.
First, you check the regret statistics for facebook sign-ups, because people who still don't have facebook probably would do something like that.
Say it's really low, at 5%. Everyone else is elated they joined. Would you join?
OMG!!!! I'd do the regret statistics and sell the good ones to advertisers! All the companies will have new marketing campaigns!
It's no secret that I am in love with Adobe Photoshop. My whole entire internet image is based on Photoshop.
If I am forced to never use Photoshop again, I will never take another photo of my face.
(Fine, I am exaggerating. I know I do not photoshop my Photos of the Moment, but that's coz they are blurry shots and anyway I don't post many photos of myself there!)
I'd say that two of my favourite blog entries are centered around photoshop!
Transform Plasticzilla into a chio bu without going through all her real life PS.
Made Jack Black look like Ashton Kutcher! Amazing not?!
Anyway, loads of loads of you have asked me where to purchase Photoshop from. Well, this blog entry is gonna tell some of you REALLY good news!
Like it's so awesome that I won't even call this an advertorial. More like just spreading good news to everyone! Well, not everyone... But for all students and educators!
Are you ready?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
When the original price is a whooping $939!
Creative Suite 4 contains:
* Dreamweaver CS4 * Flash CS4 Professional * Photoshop CS4 Extended * Illustrator CS4 * Fireworks CS4 * Acrobat 9 Pro * Soundbooth CS4 * Contribute CS4 * Adobe Bridge CS4 * Adobe Device Central CS4 * Version Cue CS4
Many useful programs other than photoshop - like dreamweaver for building websites and flash for creating beautiful flash banners like my old site's header!
Adobe Acrobat Pro 9 is even cheaper at $39 only! Wow!
Students really do get the best deals, it's so unfair.
If you are interested, here are more details:
To be eligible to purchase the two mentioned products at the special price, you will have to be either a full time student, educator or staff in a Primary, Secondary, Independent schools, International schools, Junior Colleges and NIE only.
Upon purchase, photocopy of the evidence of eligibility will have to be collected.
That will either be their student pass, school pass (for international schools or independent schools), Civil Service card or Public Service card. On top of the evidence of eligibility, a photocopied IC of authorized personnel (to collect on behalf of eligible individual) will have to be collected.
Delivery charges are at $8 only! (Honestly what's $8 compared to the $840 bucks you save??) If you order more than 10 copies, the delivery charges are waived!
To purchase, hop on to:
For enquiries call 64386778!!
p/s: I am not using the student pack as I am not a student or a teacher. Just to clarify!
